we don't kiss people at school, we sit in chairs.

I am currently a long-term sub for a SPED aide while she's out for surgery. It's a 6-8 week gig.

This school is not short of silly kids. Every day I have a funny story to share with my parents. I figured I could share with you. Many of my stories come from the kindergartners.

One student asked me why my belly was so big and then proceeded to tell me to stop eating so much because I'll get sick. Thank you kindergartner, duly observed.

On another day a sweet little boy politely asked, "teacher, can I please go throw up". Yes, run! Don't ask! RUN!! He went to the bathroom and came back. Reported that he didn't throw up and continued to drink his Capri Sun. The the kindergarten teacher asked if he was okay and then picked up the garbage can just in time to catch his vomit.

Students: "Miss Dressen why aren't you married?"

Me: "I don't think I'm old enough to be married."

Students: "How old are you?"

Me: "I'm 20."

Students: "No way! You're 40, maybe 30. There's no way you can be 20. You should get a boyfriend"

On a Friday, the little ones spent some extra time outside after recess. On their way back in they played follow the leader. One little boy stopped to gnaw on a tree like a beaver. I guess you've got to get your fiber some how.

Me: Let of my hand.

Student: I'm just trying to kiss your hand.

Me: Don't kiss my hand?

Student: Okay, I'll just kiss your face then.

Me: We don't kiss people at school, we sit in chairs.