rocks.

I am far too late and I hope the words I'm writing will make sense when I come back to them at a more reasonalbe time, but I just have to do this now.

Tonight I rang in this new year, new decade, with the very best of friends surrounding me.  4 of them leaving soon on missions.  Being around them, makes me almost explode with happiness.  Seriously, who could ever ask for better..

I feel as I'm standing among giants. And as I think about that I have been thinking about a phrase I've heard a couple of times but was recently reminded by one of those soon to be missionaries:

If you're not increasing, you're decreasing.

It seems that when life gets going easy, I put the most important things on the back burner, scriptures and prayer, however currently life isn't that smooth.

Each day a rock is being added to my pile and it just seems to get bigger and bigger, almost to an unreachable size.  Burdens are getting heavier and more out of my control.  Each day its gets harder to waked up because I don't know what new things are going to be thrown at me. 

Often times I feel helpless. 

 But, now's the time to change that.  Back to my annology of the rocks.

Annie once had a rock tumbler.  It took forever to turn really ugly, average rocks to become the pretty and ornamental.  You would load the grey bucket and put it on the machine.  It would turn and scrub.  However, if you didn't add the proper chemicals and the right amount of water, the result would be the same exact rocks you put in.  But when the process was done correctly it made some of the most beautiful rocks.  

I've been given a stack of rocks.  I can either stare at them and watch them stay in the same state of mater forever or I can take the initiative to try to better my situation by loading them into the tumbler.  I can try with all my might to make the end product beautiful but it's not going to.  The right ingrediates need to be added.  The proper amounts of water and chemicals, will achieve the same result as what active ingredients need to be in my life.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is at the center of all change.  I need to draw closer to Him and learn more of Him. 

I need to change. 

So this is my New Year's Resolution DESTINATION:

Grow closer to my Savior through personal scripture study and prayer.

Be a better light in my family.

Realize that the Atonement is there for ME and when its going to be really hard in the upcoming weeks/months, to Remember HE is ALWAYS there.